So here we are....heading towards the end of 2019. The year is quickly coming to an end. This is often the time when we start to wonder where the year went and we set renewed intentions, renewed goals, renewed visions and plans. 

Hands up if you want 2019 to end as the BEST and happiest year yet!

Me too!

So how do we do that if we have not let go of stuff that has happened this year?

We can't! 

We (unfortunately), cannot control a lot of things that pop up in our lives BUT we can control our reactions and responses to them and how long we hold onto them for!

We all have situations and people in our lives that frustrate us and annoy us and hurt us and so often we spend so much time and energy focusing on that and feeling horrible. We all know that where focus goes, energy flows so why do we spend so much of our time focusing on the people or situations that affect us in a negative way?

I don't know either! But what I do know is I...

You can tell the size of the person by the size of the problem that gets them down.

(Eric Worre)

This quote was given to me during the last week. It followed on from a discussion about being resilient. There have been a few things that have popped up for me over the last few weeks and it was brought to my attention that perhaps I was not as resilient as I thought I was!

The definition of resilience is the ability to bounce back from a difficulty or challenge. 

So, what I discovered about myself was: I do actually have some resilience, as I have the ability to bounce back in a reasonable amount of time....except...I do not have a lot of resilience in the moment itself when things are not going the way I expected in my mind!

I should say at this point, these moments very rarely happen when I am work! The unexpected has happened enough times at work that they are easy to manoeuvre through. It is at home that the moments happen more...

Atelophobia [A-tel-o-pho-bia]

The fear of imperfection. The fear of never being good enough.

Over the last couple of years, I have learned that every single person on the entire planet suffers from this. Everyone. It impacts different areas of our lives and shows up differently for different people, but everyone feels it.

The question I want to ask is: WHY?

Why do we feel like we are not good enough? What is the reason we think this? What has happened in our life that we think this thought is justifiable in any way, shape or form?

It is only coming from two sources: ourselves and our own thoughts or other people and society

Here is the  thing about it all: 

 If WE are telling ourselves we are not good enough - it is just all made up anyway! Our mind is designed to keep us safe and it does that by responding to our fear and uncertainty. So it tells us we are not good enough because that way - we...

I have always said I am an easy going kind of person.

I think my strengths are that I like people, I love to talk, ask questions, get to know others. I believe I am easy to get along with. 

I like to think that I am not easily phased when things go wrong or don't go according to my plan or the plan I had in my head. For this, I would have used the word flexible...but I have been wondering lately...how flexible I really am!

The definition of the word flexible is: 

 adaptable

 versatile

 fluid

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Here is what I know for certain:

Every person on the planet likes to be appreciated and know that they are appreciated. 

Every person.

And yet...there are so many people who feel unappreciated?

A person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

It doesn't take a lot and I personally believe, most people don't need the big party or public accolades. Sometimes it is the smaller moments of appreciation that feel the most genuine and real.

I received a certificate this week for a nomination I received a couple of months back. The thought that someone within my school community had taken the time to nominate me was enough to feel appreciated.

I think while we often talk about how we appreciate things or people, we do not acknowledge it enough. Showing gratitude and appreciation is one of the simplest and most powerful things we can do for each other as humans.

 Everyone wants to be appreciated.

So if you appreciate someone - don't keep it a secret. Do...

'Why does this keeps happening to me?'

Ever heard anyone say that? Have you ever said it?

Do you sometimes find that life has this way of repeating itself, the situations you find yourself in, the conversations you have? Do you sometimes find that there are certain people that rub you the wrong way or who you just feel completely frustrated by and they just keep showing up in your life?

Yeah, life is funny like that. I used to wonder why the same issues would arise in different parts of life. Just when I had thought I had things all figured out, it would show up again! 

And then I learned something....sometimes in life, a situation will keep repeating itself until you really learn the lesson you are supposed to learn. Those same people keep showing up until we learn what we are supposed to learn from them, the same situations appear until we learn the lesson of how to approach things differently or think differently.

The problem most of us have in life is we don't pay...

Have you ever had those moments where you wish you could just yell and let everything you are feeling out?

Where you have felt like all of the emotion has been building up inside - due to life events or a collection of moments  - and they just need to be released somehow? 

Welcome to the world of how our little humans might feel!

I am here to share with you: you are not alone in feeling like this! It is okay!

Every single person on this planet experiences the same emotions and feelings. The circumstances around those or leading up to those feelings may vary, but the thoughts and feelings are all the same.

The problem is, is that a lot of us are conditioned from a very young age, to keep our emotions in and be mindful of when and where we show our feelings. Which...to some degree I get. 

The problem is, this conditioning can often lead us to think we have to be in complete control of every emotion we have...

The definition of Emotional Intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships with good judgement and empathy.

Now, I may sound controversial in saying this but I believe that a significant percentage of adults in our current society lack the emotional intelligence required to live a more joyful, harmonious and fulfilling life with themselves and others.

The fact is, is that developing emotional intelligence is about developing our ability to recognise and understand our own emotions as well as emotions in others. We use this understanding and awareness to manage our own behaviours and relationships.

When you take a really close look around, most people are pointing the finger of blame at everyone else instead of looking within to manage their own choices. We hear the phrases, 'He made me angry', 'She annoyed me' etc. While it is not condoned by most, there are still a...

Let's face it...when things go wrong or don't go our way in life, it seems easier to pass the blame onto someone or something else. And, my experience and observations have been, that more often than not, we find ourselves blaming our upbringing for different things in our life as well. 

I watch and listen to my students and often see my younger self in them and I see and hear the blame game in everyday situations. When emotions are high and we are struggling to keep it all together, it is far less painful to look outside of yourself than to look inwards. Looking inwards requires delving into the dark side of our thoughts and emotions and often they are places we try to avoid. But avoiding the hard stuff and avoiding responsibility for the hard stuff doesn't give us the opportunity to learn and grow and become who we need to be. 

So what if we taught our little humans (and ourselves in the process) how to not only take responsibility for their...

This last week we had National Testing in Australia. Four tests for grades 3, 5, 7 and 9 students all around the country. The lead up to the testing week can create all sorts of concern, worry and anxiety for kids, parents and teachers alike.

There is a letter that had gone around social media for years around Naplan time. It holds the same content I say to my students whenever they have to complete any test at any time. The tests don't tell us what kind of person you are. They don't tell us if you're good at sport or music or if you are a great sibling. They don't tell us what kind of friend you are or how kind you are. They don't even tell us where you are going to be in 6 months time or what you will do or be when you are older. The only thing tests ever tell us is where you are at that moment. They tell us what skills you have in that particular area right now and give an indication of what steps you might need to take next to learn more skills.

Both kids and adults...